Being in the modern era, where we are all so used to everything being instant, we tend to become less patient and are always in the rush.
Take photography for example, all modern cameras have LCD screens that we always tend to look at it right after we press the shutter. That’s the killer for street photography by the way because your subjects will know you are shooting and they might avoid or to the extend of telling you off. I am so agree with Eric Kim because it happened to me multiple occasions. I would blog about it next time.
Back to the topic. Yes, I, too, am impatient. I am always eager to know how my photos came out to be. Is it well exposed? Is the composition okay? Is my subject in focus? However, do you agree that most of the time, no matter how hard you try, it’s always impossible to create/perfect the first initial shot you took? The feeling would be different. Some of us will be determined to get the shot right. No harm. However, when it comes to street photography, every shot is a opportunistic shot, a split second of ‘decisive moment’. You can’t afford to re-do the shot without scarifying a certain aspect of the voice you want to portray.
Hence, when I took on film camera, I thought without a LCD to tempt me, I would be able to focus more on my next shot instead of ‘mourning’ about my failed/undesired shot. That would help increase my good shots.
I am wrong.
Right from the start, I realised that whenever I had taken a shot, I would also mull over whether my setting was right, would my shot be under/over-exposed, was my subject in focus, how would my shot turned out to be…. I found myself standing or walking aimlessly down the street, thinking about my last shot.
I guess I was feeling very inferior, lack of confidence and the thought of a ruined shot on film that costs 60 cents make me scared. I am so used to viewing my shot immediately that I fidgeted while the LCD was taken away from me.
Things got worst when one day, after looking at the developed film photographs I took, one shot horrified me (below). Because that was potentially a very nice shot where it depicts the life of Singapore heartlanders under the HDB. Best of all, that was a shot I stood close to the subject and had the courage to shoot them right in the front. Unfortunately, all the subjects are out of focus. I was distraught!
Because of this, I found myself becoming more worrying after each shot instead of focusing on my next shot.
Sometimes I think, am I suitable to use film? Or am I even cut out to be a decent photography hobbyist? I don’t even dare to think about becoming someone who one day become inspiration to many people, just like how Eric Kim managed to, which many people attended his classes.
I am shy. I suck at public speaking. My mouth doesn’t often say what my heart intend to because sentences form too slowly in my mind. Or at that moment, I just couldn’t think of the right word to articulate what I meant.
Putting photography aside, I have a long way to go of becoming a successful human. Back to photography, I need to learn to let each shot go. To embrace that it is okay to lose a few nice shots, to just enjoy photography. I am privileged because I don’t depend on my shots for my rice bowl.
With that, I shall end my post with a quote “The struggle you are in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow.”